If you didn't stop by yesterday take a quick peek at yesterdays post as today is a continuation of the same issue. And wow! All your ideas yesterday have put me to shame! Here is the excerpt in which I express red having a smell. I'm afraid after all your wonderful ideas this seems meek, but I'm not one to back out, so here we are:
On the night of my birthday he put on Joni Mitchell’s ‘Blue’, and set the dining room table with four large black square plates, painted silver round the edges. He’d bought a brand new crimson tablecloth and set it using my grandma’s silver cutlery that I’d stored away in some difficult-to-reach place I could not recall. The dining room, filled with the scent of red, shimmered with light from the fireplace. With thick muffled heart throbs, drowning out all other sound, I asked him who was making dinner, because he hadn’t started to cook anything, but he did nothing but smile, kiss my cheek and pat me on the head like I was the dog.
So, does the scent of red serve it's purpose here? Does it work? Insert the word rose after red, for example, and see how much of a difference it makes to the meaning of the whole passage. Red no longer refers to an emotion, but a physical object, and I feel has much less impact. What do you think?
0 Yorumlar